Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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