White coat. Heels.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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