why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
