We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my liver is dry heaving
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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