Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
