Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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