he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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