Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
