This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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