so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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