Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
