Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
