Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
