Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
