Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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