Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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