Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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