the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Are we still banned from the library?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
