yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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