ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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