my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
