I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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