So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
