I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
