That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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