I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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