kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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