there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
