shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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