It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
