This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
