I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
