I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
