some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize