Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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