Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
