I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
