so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
