It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
