talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
