weddingsv make me drug and hornr
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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