So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
