Even the bartender felt bad for me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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