Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
