Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
