No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
