I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
