I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
