he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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