xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
