Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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