I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
