Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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