in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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