It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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