I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
