I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize