Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize