she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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