It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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