hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
