His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
